On this episode of Studio B Unscripted, philosopher Alain de Botton is in conversation with stylist and social commentator Ayishat Akanbi.
A best-selling author, whose books have been described as a ‘philosophy of everyday life’, de Botton founded The School of Life, a social enterprise determined to make learning relevant in today’s culture using philosophy to help others ‘live wisely and well’.
Ayishat Akanbi is a fashion stylist and writer. Through her work and online following she confronts complex issues related to surviving in today’s society. She uses her platform to comment on and call out injustice and inequality.
This meeting of two minds from different backgrounds explores a range of topics from ancient Greek tragedies and Russian literature, to racism, social media and loneliness. The topics of conversation revolve around the nature of good vs evil, the notion of empathy towards others and how emotional intelligence can be a vehicle towards a better society for all.
The views expressed in this programme are the guests’ own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.
Studio B, Unscripted is a free-flow conversation between two guests and a small audience, with no mediation, no MC, no TV presenter – focusing on what brings us all together and how we can tackle and discuss some of the big issues of our time.
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USA believing in individual right to freedom and happiness is NOT punishing — this is an insidious undertone of hatred against the USA
Not surprising his show is on this Muslim owned – they don’t value the west
think of gratitude — how are you grateful? It’s an attitude it’s not about outer conditions
A beautiful conversation between beautiful people. Even comments r so good like wtf
This was amazing, we need more of this!
This woman is so mature for one so young
A cult of love from a channel that is supported by a very different …
People in the crowd look terrified. I wonder what that is about.
I thought the conversation was very common sense and good faith.
I love her. Lots of memorable quotes from this talk. “We think that understanding something is the same as condoning it.”
One of the best conversations I’ve ever watched.
Yo, but why is the audio so bad?
Inferiority complex, that’s powerful. I had to join the military for any chance to get an education (which I did). Along the way, I saw 9/11 coming and put myself in the way. I wasn’t big enough. It went around and through me. It basically destroyed me. I couldn’t keep marriages going and got divorces. Other than that, I had to come to terms with the fact that my idea of what I would be if I reached my potential was unrealistic. I grew up being able to see death coming and was an outsider because of it. What do you do when you don’t know what do to with strange things?
My mother always tried to drill into me that should that happen, it was my job to make sure the person was “saved” (she was highly religious). I didn’t think that. Trying to find meaning was always difficult. The first one, I was so young…my mother and two other women were praying for their God to remove a girl from their school because they thought she was a bad influence. She died in a ditch after an episode of drunk driving, drowned. There’ve been so many. Lately though I think I might be aging out of it somehow. My sight has receded. The pain is also receding.
This gives me hope in our hyper-mediated, outraged times, thanks to these amazing humans for such a compassionate and kind conversation.
Am i the only one who sees two con artists
What makes you think that? I’d like to hear more, a short sentence doesn’t seem enough for such a long talk.
Thank you, al Jazeera. This is a true antidote to most news shows.
I am uncomfrotable with Alain de Botton’s background and ancestry…
How so
Why should I listen to someone whose been alive for only 30 years? Her answers sound rather shallow and needing another 10 or 20 years of living experience. Wisdom is not given to the young. How did she become so prominent. I used to have these conversations when I was 25 and wince when I think back on the arrogant banality of what I was saying. Why is she prominent?
Ted Bundy was a murderous fruit cake – his upbringing had very little to do with it. There’s little to no corollary between Ted Bundy and a racist.
They make a cute couple.
Excellent ideas. I wrote to Alain de bottom to see if he could do a piece on systemic racism and he was good enough to reply that he would “one day” …
America believes in everyone’s right to happiness whoever thr constitution doesn’t necessarily say the government should make everyone happy .
It is the right to PURSUE HAPPINESS, not the right to HAPPINESS.
Compassion is a privilege (that comes from loving parents, education and so on..)- therefore you can’t blame others for not having it – but if you have the privilege of being compassionate and understanding – you should always do your best to use it. In this way you can possibly plant a seed of compassion and love in people who doesen’t have the same sufficient mental resources as you.
“anyone can love something that is terrific, but can you love something that is not terrific?” dayum
This feels like a jumbled collection of things they’ve said all along thrown into a “discussion”. If you’re already familiar with their work, nothing new is really gained from this.
The questions are longer than the interesting answers
she’s extremely pompous.
Why do you think that? … Because she’s relaxed? Because she’s confident? Don’t just lob insults. Dig deep! Come with some reasoning, but be careful.
I wish our families taught us these things! Anyhow, thank you for this visceral conversation.
Beautiful insight into our true nature , opposed to our projected capitalist self !
I feel like he glossed over her story about her loved ones murder far too quickly. There was a lot that could be explored there, esp in context of humanizing murderers… seems the discussion was a bit rehearsed.
Get rid of the notion of evil, progression and justice look like a satanic agenda to me.
Anything with Ayishat I love 🥰🥰.
P.S First time I’ve heard of Alain and I love him already.
Empathy absolutely HAS to go hand-in-hand with compassion and kindness. Without these elements it becomes cognitive/intellectual empathy. As an example. There are people who possess high levels of cognitive empathy – psychopaths, sociopaths, people who are highly intelligent, who pick it up as a skill through life experiences, etc. But because this form of empathy isn’t rooted in compassion for them, it becomes a powerful and dangerous tool that can easily be used for toxic manipulation, and worse. My two cents.
And you guys just fall in the trap and said religion is dangerous…?
I would say to you clearly definitely not.
Islam is basically mean surrender to God… only
Peace love and fair
No slavery no segregation women has equal rights
No human being is exclusive to any thing
🙏🌺😊
I don’t like it when you put in peoples mind that religion is dangerous
Let them google and find out themselves what is best for them to be living in enlightenment
This is the best
I will say that because I am so grateful everyday for simple things like running water, indoor bathrooms and electricity, magical things like knowing how to play an instrument, being able to push a button and hear music, having information easily accessible at libraries and now the internet blow my mind everyday and I truly am happy even in the midst of deep deep disappointments and sadness. I feel privileged & fascinated when going through the anguish suffering so I may have a better connect to more kinds of people & their experiences
I’ve learned that people connect and feel less alone when you share your anxieties, but in the end compared to many places even now, but most certainly almost all cultures throughout history I am doing wonderful.
To clarify a disagreement, which much respect, America doesn’t consider Happiness a right, but the Pursuit of Happiness a natural right, given by God so that no government shall take this right away. We are absolutely not guaranteed happiness, but the governments role is to get enough out of the way & protect Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
This idea is so high that is was far beyond what the founders knew they could achieve themselves, specifically because of slavery
In fact the founders wanted to use Life, Liberty & Property, but knew that they could not do that because humans were still considered Property in the to be Union
…but how would he portray “love” in a film (and who would star in it)?
I understand people being cautious about the word religion but Jesus was the epitome of radical love 💕 I love that this conversation is being had even when it’s not within the Christian context. The topics discussed by these amazing people are really necessary right now.
We need more cults of love 🙂
I wish the world talked to itself like these two people do.
She’s wearing green wallabies 👀 I used to love mine, 1990s fashion 😂😂😂😂
Wonderful talk
Are these kinds of secular religion stances are meant to replace theistic stances? Honestly, when I hear these ideas, I kind of feel that they are metaphysically groundless washed-up some time contradictory versions of the mystical Sufi positions about educating the ego. I would love to see the likes of Hamza Yusuf in a discussion with these two gentlemen.
The lighting is HEAVEN! ORGASMIC!! Good God almighty!
Loved this!
I needed this video today! Lovely!!:)
What i hear is that Hollywood is the root of all unhelpful things.
You need a third leg in this revolution. Let’s talk.
There is evil. It is a situation people put themselves in when they stop thinking together, when they create systems that insulate them from truths and reality.
What do we agree on?
Hard work not mentioned.
Free Speech not mentioned.
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Paid for wholly or in part by Qatar.
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If you you like this type of conversation you might also enjoy Byron Katie .
Hehe the intro where they complete their sentences doesn’t let me believe it is UNSCRIPTED 😛 haha
Interesting discussion, they are effectively describing a secular society christian philosophy and freedom of speech.
HURRAEEE I have theese green schoose too >> lots older but same design 💚 🥰 💙 ILP. (74)
How do we find these events to go to?
Totally agree!! Love and compassion needs to be cultivated. Yes, to help make our world a better place.
22:44 “It’s not so much that I’m saying that I want to sit down with KKK members, but what I am saying is that I won’t allow them the privilege of making me think that they’re evil.”
That is a brilliant quote. I only discovered Ayishat today and I love her already.
Before even watching I can tell it’s going to be an interesting conversation from the title. Late to the party but I’m glad I found this
You may not want to use the word religion… but that’s what it is; and it’s okay. It’s just a word.
I like Alain De Botton, but I’m disappointed by his reluctance to talk about Eastern Philosophy whenever he talks about philosophy.
For me evil is a human description for things they don’t know or don’t understand realistically there’s no evil for every action there’s a good results in a way or another but that doesn’t mean you won’t pay for your actions you will pay for your attentions
What a wonderful discourse between two perceptive minds! 🙏😀
bald baby alien back again. hated your book essays on love. this guy has more daddy issues than kafka. who else is sick of braying toffs, put your hands up. alain de botton’s greatest fears r sudden mutism n dying irrelevant
I disagree with him, I think that we should just educate each other that everyone is human to understand why we should forgive each other.. Not because you have been doing evil stuff your self because not everyone has done the same bad stuff but have to education and understanding about human beings.
This was an inspiring conversation ! Uplifting
I loved the question about romantic comedies.
I’ve seen some humbling Korean dramas that challenged my perception of romantic love and love in general.
Because It’s My First Life (realistic challenges/benefits that come with marrying a person)
When The Camelia Blooms (mother and son’s love, love for your own blood, love for yourself.)
It’s Okay Not To Be Okay (self-love)
Righteous Love (the lady does a lot, A LOT of laundry)
Save Me (Friendship, Hope and Courage)
My ID is Gangnam Beauty (External beauty and Inner beauty)
Indeed, romance plays a role in most of the shows but I was challenged by these stories to explore my own values and what I look for in life.
oh dear the background music between the cuts surprised me… it’s giving me anxiety.
Is it just me or does the audience look really weird at the beginning? Loved the conversation though!
For an “unscripted” conversation, this is very scripted. Everything seems to be.
The generosity, the independence and the honesty shown by these two people is refreshing and sorely needed in our world!
Alain’s eyes see through your soul. I love this warm exchange of ideas.
Compassion can come from knowing that a person is not there mind or there culture and is in fact god, in a form of its choosing
Hands down the most amazing conversation I have ever listened to
This is naive approach to social problems.
This woman is amazing
Beautiful conversation that flowed smoothly from one topic to another.
What’s a philosopher’s favourite fruit?
Passion fruit.
Philosopher’s favourite tuber?
Root of kindness
When do they eat all these?
During suffer time.
Thanks. And I’m sorry.
Fact: Ancient philosophers never had a lightbulb moment in their lifetime.
Not until 1879.
How many light bulbs does it take to change a single philosopher?
None. Philosophers don’t use vanity mirrors. Unless they do makeup tutorials.
I know the past of Fyodor Doestoyovsky.
It’s “Fyodor did to Yovsky”.
9:06
37:08
please define “we”, “all” and “human” the de wifi nition is killing me
Great conversation. Woulda loved if they had talked about something they had completely divergent opinions on. Now that would have been interesting.
“I just want my children to be safe” Mother of all tragedies.
Meh
I love the question at 20:22 about having empathy towards racists.
I can see how being the victim of oppression makes it incredibly difficult to have an empathetic approach to other people, but in my own experience I’ve noticed I get peace of mind when I choose to not let racism/racists have power over me and my emotions.
Like Ayishat said I prefer “removing the power of racism in my own life”, by having empathy towards people like that I believe that it allows you to see that they’re just using racism as a mask for their insecurities.
15:43 vulnerability = strength <3
24:12 "If you just want to be strong, good luck to you, because you'll be very very lonely"
29:54 On loneliness
36:54 "Acting isn't a profession it's a diagnosis" To want to be so visible you've got to feel so invisible
43:51 Happiness = no expectations?
“I think what a lot of us call ‘white supremacy’ is ‘white insecurity’.”
Sis like: 🙄 2:36?
Picard and Guinan XD
These two are amazing!!! Love them for the honesty, and truth they put out into the universe. Empathy, and understanding is what our society completely lacks.
These two are starting a new wonderful conversation! Thank god!
In the first question they look at how we can be uncharitable towards out-groups by being to empathetic towards some other group. Alain starts setting up a scenario between people who live together, not really what she meant but perhaps he’s illustrating the idea that we have too high of expectations, and he’s just using a handy example without getting into politics too much. Wise move to not polarize it too much off the bat. However not getting at what her beef was which is polarization blows.
My own answer is people are encouraged to be polarized by the media. However to respond to what Alain said, the reason why we respond less charitably towards our partner than the child, is because we feel responsible for the outcome of the child’s upbringing and we believe that if we are too demanding and vicious that the kid will be messed up later, so they get more leeway. However when we meet our partner the relationship is based on transactions usually, especially if they are raising a family together. It sounds good but I think he’s off. Like most of his videos, he’s good at saying stuff that sounds good. Scratch too deep and it’s not really nailing it. Aiyshat on the other hand is on point as usual. I’m impressed by her. We will see how this unfolds.
The first half was amazing. Wow. Wow. Wow…..’What we call White Supremacy is in fact White Insecurity’.
I have to correct something.. the US does not believe that we all ARE or SHOULD be happy but we believe in the PURSUIT of happiness. Stark difference. 3 inalienable, given rights… Life, Liberty, & the PURSUIT of Happiness. Basically we have the right to reach for more than we have, the right to grow. Now.. I realize that this has somewhat been misconstrued along the centuries & we now live in a society that is inherently materialistic & shallow because people haven’t learned to be happy as they are or with what they have. They alway need more more more and think that something over there will make them happy when it’s really just an unhappy soul issue. Double edged sword, I guess. But I guess my bigger point is that life doesn’t have to inherently be suffering.. it doesn’t have to be like that. No, not everything is rainbows & unicorns all the time but it’s at a soul level that decides if you’re unhappy or not, nothing in the outside world can decide that for you, even perceived suffering.
On a Ayishat Akanbi binge at the moment, very interesting thinker.
He looks like Jess Glynne!
11:30
12:02 “We often think that if we understand something then we‘re condoning it.”
20:02 Where we usually go astray imho is how we understand “unbelievable cruelty”.
Many of the forms of interaction with children and people in general that stifle healthy human inner development have long been considered standard, normal, orthodox, correct and still are.
21:48 “I don‘t think you can be a supremacist and still fear people taking you over.”
22:54 “I won‘t allow them the privilege of making me think that they’re evil.”